This spring, 1789, one who had for some time been a suitor to my eldest daughter, (who was but about twenty years of age,) came to insist upon marriage.  This gave me some uneasiness or difficulty; one reason was, she was but of a tender weakly constitution, besides some other ailments, which had inclined me to decline consenting for some time before this.  However, he insisted, and it went on.—About the beginning of May this year, her and my two eldest sons, had never joined in church communion [with the Reformed Presbyterian Church] upon several reasons and seeming discouragements, and I could not press them, though I never dissuaded them from it: And no appearance of things being got better, I now thought of appointing a family fast, and to cause them take on their own engagements, in as solemn a way as we in a private capacity, and the circumstance of things would admit.  Accordingly, a little before her marriage, we appointed a day, wherein, besides the ordinary duty or exercise of the day, I set about this, by telling them what was intended, and somewhat of the nature of the thing, and then proceeded to the articles or questions to be proposed, in which I copied after that form that had been used in an adjacent parish, who had of all the west country been most punctual in this method with young ones, before their admission to the sacrament, which was as proper and suitable in form, as what I could have proposed anew: the substance, index, or import of which follows:

These, and more, having been gone over at full, and somewhat of the danger of being remiss, though not called out at present to the seal of the covenant, the supper; yet the same duties were engaged unto, all relative, and absolutely necessary, in the Christian course;—they were admonished in as solemn a manner as the circumstances would admit, and as the Lord enabled.  After which, the whole was concluded by singing and fervent prayer, as the Lord was pleased to countenance, in way of devoting them, and the rest of the children over to him; and craving his pity, countenance, and direction in, and through the whole course of the Christian life; that so, having finished it with joy, our feet, at last, might be found standing within the courts of the new Jerusalem.

And here, perhaps, some may censure this part of my conduct; but in this they must take their freedom.  All I shall say, as a reason for my conduct, is, altho’ I did not look upon this to free me of parental duties, even to these while under my hand, yet I thought it might lighten and sweeten it a little.  And should any say, I had no right, it was ministers and public persons, when admitting such to the church, that this action belonged unto:—To this I only say, I imposed no oath, nor any thing more (if my treacherous heart deceive me not) but what, as a parent, I had a right to do.  And, amongst all other reeling confusions, on a retrospect view of my past actions in life, I have hitherto never had the least grudge or challenge [of conscience] for what I did in this.  But rather, I was negligent, and has not done what I might have done with respect unto my children, and other connections and relations; for which I implore and beg forgiveness from him, whose prerogative it is to forgive and pass by transgression, and pardon sin, through the all prevailing merit of his only Son, our Saviour, and {128} the Spirit of all grace, one God over all, blessed for ever.  Amen.

Sometime after this, while in bed one morning, and being thinking or meditating somewhat concerning the different turns or dispensations of the Lord’s holy providence, and adorable ordering concerning persons and affairs in this world;—this, concerning my daughter’s situation, though she was married in a most agreeable way, to one of the same profession, and no despicable situation, or way of living in the world; yet, if she continued of such a tender way, (with some other circumstances I forbear to notice here,) what would she do?  This had oft-times been matter of thought unto me, which I desired to commit and lay before the Lord, who had hitherto done all things well for me.  Suddenly these two texts, or words of scripture came into my mind, which had no connection with the matter I was anxious, alas! too anxious about.  The words were,—Secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things that are revealed belong unto us, &c. connected with Christ’s own words,—It is not for you to know the times and seasons.  These scriptures I found to be in Deut. 29.29, and Acts 1.7.  And here I found myself reproved, which had this effect upon my spirits, that I was never so anxious afterwards; for, if the case had at any time presented itself unto my mind, then these scriptures, Secret things belong unto the Lord;—it is not for you to know the times and seasons, occurred as fresh as at first, and so my anxiety evanished.  If any thing be noticeable here, let free grace, and God’s goodness to me, a poor, worthless creature, be exalted.

And though some may think the mentioning of this frivolous, yet it may have its own proper effects, whereby something may be learned, if seriously considered, as a reproof against our too anxious prying into the hidden mysteries of his providence.